Me when I am...

...really, really, really like bell peppers.
The orange ones.

I really do.

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

I can't believe I actually made so many of these posts.
fucking teenagers.

lol@ my previous entries.
loooooooool.

Yeah.
lol.

I must be schizo.

...so much last night, I had a dream about it.

Another dream where I was on very bad terms with my dad, but required to tolerate it. I think that's my second.

Yelling, throwing things, accusations. I don't remember other details.

was yesterday. Got stuff for my car, woo

I was just going back through my posts, and I found this response posted to Michael:

The cows are going to eat you. They haven't been fed for days.
Now do you know why I dried up the pasture?

I don't remember posting that all, but I thought it was funny.

The clock broke...

So, my grandad's pretty much losing his mind, huzzah being senile and stuff and reverting back to a child where everything's about you... but at least I managed to get 500 dollars from him for christmas. :\

Got me FFXII, the only thing I asked anyone for really.
3 shirts, which say "Carpe Noctum", "EXCESS is never too much in moderation" or something like that, and "Resistance is futile (if < 1 ohm)"
A 1GB flash drive
A place to put my dirty clothes aside from on my floor so my mom can stop being crazy about that
A new clock that actually response when buttons are pressed, but will be really obnoxious with the flashing... oh well, it works!
A 30$ e-mail gift certificate to Amazon which I used to buy a ring for myself due to nothing else striking my interest...
A calendar
A "gift card" to rent movies

Probably forgot a thing or two. -shrug-

Ahaha. Someone posted this site on a forums, and it's kinda' amusing. The hatemail is fun to read, too, because it's a bunch of stupid jews (seriously, they're Jewish and they're stupid) who are taking this to complete offense. I just lol @ taking offense when people say their cat LOOKS like Hitler. I mean, he had a distinct look, is it horrible to say something looks like him? Is it even supporting Fascist Racism (like one of the hatemails say) to say a cat looks like hitler and to have a site completely dedicated to cats that look like hitler? It's not dedicated to Hitler, so IMO, there's absolutely nothing wrong.

Wow. Yeah.

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/

Best one:
http://83.136.68.93/kitler/pics/kitler8.jpg

Went to Six Flags. Rode the Superman thing 3 times, the Poltergeist 2 times, and didn't ride the Boomerang. Those were the only 3 open rollercoasters. Turns out Joker's been removed two years ago, Roadrunner Express was just 'unavailable', and they weren't letting anyone onto the Rattler.

But I guess it was fun.

Got my ID card today. DPS is busy for the summer, so it'll be 3 or 4 weeks before I get the actual card, but at least I still have a piece of paper that says the exact same. To get a picture, apparently my mom's gonna sign up for Sam's Club or something.

College, whee!

wtf... do you just follow me around or something?

First Myspace and now LiveJournal.

I'm scared.

Your cigarette broke in my pocket.

I went to three people's birthday on one day. It was fun. Helium baloons are fun. I tried singing the Wizard of Oz song (and the Lollipop Guild munchkin song thing), as well as other things. And the National Anthem. But after sucking too much helium, my hand went cold/numb and I got lightheaded. So I stopped for a while. And did it again.

Then laterrrrrrr, we went and shot fireworks. It was muddy. Very. And my hoes have mud on them. lol... shoes* I don't feel like deleting text, but anyway. My pants got mud on them, tooo. And Angela got drunk. She wasn't supposed to drink a whole bottle of everclear/rum/vodka/juice. It tasted good, but you just don't do that. She amused me: "You're drunk." "I'm not drunk! Look!" -wobble wobble- "You're drunk..." "No I'm not!"

I need a party.

omg July 4th. Fun?

...maybe.

Hi. Can you help me not be at home anymore? Not permanantly or anything, because I'm not trying to escape. I just need to not be home. During the day. I need to do something else. I don't know what.

Wow, I just got this sudden urge to write a whole lot, but I'm really not going to because it's 4:30 in the morning... Tired, 'kay sleep now. I'm seriously tired of a lot of things. I need a change. Talk to me tomorrow. Call or something, I 'unno. 775-6334 Just don't let me stay where I am.

I opened my curtains and blinds for the first time I've been living in this room.

I see my computer screen in a different light.

So it turns out... to take the bus to Fry's, it's all fine and dandy. Straight shot.

HOWEVER!

On the way back, I have to take the entire bus ride from Parmer, to the medical center, metric, braker, rundberg, and the transit center before I can even be back on my way home to Amherst at Duval.

What.
The.
Fuck.

The road my bus stops on, Amherst is just a one-way route. WHY! My mom called, I looked at a map. My best option is to learn to drive. I guess I'll be doing that now.

Either learn to drive, or find someone to pick me up after work so I don't spend an hour or two riding around the entire world to get back home when it took maybe 5 minutes to get TO work.

The bus schedule kinda' proves this. 40 minutes between pickup times at one stop, only 8 minutes between two consecutive stops.